Kareoke will never be a sober sport
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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