Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
