So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
