Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize