You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
