I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
