Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Buhtt sex?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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