I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
