Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
