oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize