I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
