Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She announced her abortion via fbk
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
