my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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