I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
