great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
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