You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
