remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize