i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
