U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
