So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
