You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
