Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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