How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
