Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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