Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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