yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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