how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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