Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
