I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
