....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
