you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize