but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
