you traded sex for a burrito?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
