I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
