You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
