worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
