Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
