you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
