just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I need to stop coming to work sober
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
