one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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