Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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