i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
