Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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