I don't think brook has ever known best
im six kinds of drunk right now
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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