I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
soo... how was my night?
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