Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
