Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
