The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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