No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
