I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i dont even know how to be here
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
