His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
