Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
