I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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