we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
