**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My vagina is very pro this idea
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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