Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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