I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
