Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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