Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
