Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
