HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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