no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
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