Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
