awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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