im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
