It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
