so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
